Fall 2014 I got very sick. I postponed surgery until early 2015. It was a long recovery. Afterwards I thought I was finally doing well enough that maybe someday I could have a life of my own. It took months but I got a job as a home care worker, helping elderly and disabled people in their homes. I did great. ...until mid summer. I got heat stroke on a regular basis 2-3 days each week. I stopped being able to eat and drink, which happens to me sometimes as part of my lifetime illness. So I started fluid infusions. I even ran them myself at home and continued to work.
Then one day I barely made it to work. The client didn't answer the doorbell, but I couldn't get up or get out my phone. It was 112 degrees farenheit. I have s history of TIAs, mini strokes, I laid on the cement for half an hour. I finally got the energy to call someone. I called work to cancel, they called the client to help me inside the house. I called my mother to drive the hour to pick me up. I couldn't drink anything. Work wasn't going to send someone to replace me that day and the client, not the spouse whom let me in, was paralyzed and needed to go to the hospital. So I stayed and lifted him onto a sling and helped put him in the stretcher for the ambulance, which is probably where I should've been.
I took a break from work to recover from the heat. Fall came I talked about going back to work, so my doctor ordered me to quit. She said it was too much for me. I quit work and now had no job, no money and was still not recovered.
It's winter. This is the longest I've ever been accessed. There was an infection over my port. They tried an iv, but wound up with a picc line. They are supposed to be "doubles", but there were no veins big enough for more than a "single". They used a scan on me and if anything happens to the tube in my arm, I don't have a single vein, even in my neck, that they can use, so they will have to cut my chest open to find one. The doctor said Thursday that they may be able to use my port again. Which is especially good because the GI told me last week that I am not absorbing water through my digestive tract and she is concerned that it may be forever, but we never know. Sometimes I just don't absorb nutrients and that comes and goes. I'm going to continue laboring under the thought that it will just wear off.
The last few weeks I've felt better, way better. I'm still not absorbing water and am super stressed about the picc line. I also experienced fear for the first time in as long I can remember.(Other than intense worry over one of my friends) That was an experience. It's nice to know I don't fear much, but for the twenty minutes they spent trying to fit the tube through my last remaining vein separating me from major surgery, I realized what fear really feels like. I have had blood clots in my brain, leaked spinal fluid, had heart surgery and have an extremely rare lifelong illness, but that was the first time I've felt like that. ...Yeah so back to art. I'm done complaining. Back to life, your regularly scheduled program.